Lincolnisms XIV

Brought $3 to DI to look at their toys. Found a gun for $1 and some balls for $0.50. After he paid, he whispered to me, "I can't believe that $2 worked!"

We were driving north and couldn't see the mountains for a minute. "Mom,are we out of the jar?"

Me: "The what?"

L: "Our jar. You know, in the mountains."

M: "Our valley?"

L: "Yeah."

There was a fly buzzing around the kitchen. To no one in particular, "SMASH IT WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT!"

And then he FREAKING SMASHED IT AGAINST THE WINDOW WITH HIS HAND! This boy hates bugs. And he smashed it with his hand. I was pretty impressed.

Talking about school: "We didn't have snack today, but we did yesterday. I had an applesauce that tasted like a dirty sock with a rotten egg inside."

Watching a preview for Frozen 2, sees Elsa, "Why didn't they name her Ice-a?"

L: "Mom, what does unconscious mean?"

Me: "Its like asleep, but not on purpose."

L: "What does nauseous mean?"

M: "It means your tummy feels like it wants to throw up."

L: "What does poshious mean?"

M: " I don't know."

L: "It means you like dinosaurs a whole lot."

M: "OH!"

L: "What does moshious mean?"

M: "What does it mean?"

L: "It means you like dogs a whole lot."

M: "Oh!"

L: "I'm poshious and Grayson is moshious."

M: "Got it."

...

L: "Mom, what does cautious mean?"

M: "It means to be careful."

Brings in a random long/skinny piece of paper, "Whoa! That must have been one HUGE sentence cookie!"

Me: "What?... A fortune cookie?"

L: "Yeah!"

"Mom, what do you call a one-legged hippo? A HOPPO!"

(i found out much later that he did not make up this joke. but when he told me, i was so impressed)

My mom, talking to my dad about their OLD neighbor, "He's not doing good. He's slowing down."

L: "Grandma, has he been emotionally eating?"

My mom: "WHAT?!" 😂

(i think he learned this term from the new grinch movie. a hilarious encounter, nonetheless.)

"Aloha Las Vegas! says the Sasquatch."

"What do you call a milk mustache? A MOOstache!"

refuel = refill

Brooks's nicknames: King Brooksington, Brookie

Grandpa Marty was wearing plaid pajama pants, "Grandpa! I see your tic tac toe pants!"

There were football announcers on the tv; "Mom, look! There's Bishop Rick!"

M: "Who's Bishop Rick?"

L: "Bishop Rick! Grandpa's boss!"

M: "Ohhhhh, Bishopric."

(grandpa marty works with the bishopric in his ward.)

Matt said something about Lincoln not being able to work on a roof if he's afraid of heights.

L: "But remember dad, I'm not going to be a roofer, I'm going to be a scientist."

Me: "How are you going to pay for college if you don't go roof?"

L: "Won't you guys pay for college for me?"

Me and Matt, 😂😂😂😂😂

Playing cars with Grayson, driving away from his brother, "We're going to NONEYA!"

(i guess he's heard me say this a few times)

Talking about his new tooth pushing his baby tooth out of the way, "And he'll tell the little tooth to go have a hike!"

L: "Who farted!?"

Me: "Probably you!"

L: "Not me, I didn't burst out one of those big boys!"

Watching Dolphin Tale 2, with Bethany Hamilton, surfer girl.

L: "How does she write?!"

Me: "Do you use 2 hands to write?"

L: "Yes! One to hold my pencil and one to push the paper down!"

(valid)

***HEART MELTERS***

Talking about how the heart's job is to pump blood to all of your body parts, etc.

L: "The heart has a lot of jobs!"

Me: "It does? What are it's other jobs?"

L: "Well, I know that it's job is to love."

M: "Oh, yep. Yes it is."

Driving home with our Little Caesars pizza, I had to stop fast and it flew off the seat, and spilled on the floor of my car. We get home, I realize how bad it is. We get back into the car to go get a new one. I apologized to the kids for ruining our dinner.

L: "It's ok mom. Accidents happen all the time."

(then i cried, and bought a new pizza)

Brooks was in his bouncer crying, had been crying all day-- I couldn't fix it. I was at the stove cooking dinner, trying not to freak out. Lincoln came in the room, saw that I was about to lose it, gently bounced the baby until he calmed down.

Lincolnisms XII

Yummy Tummers = Rice Crispy Treats. I get it.

Million dollar idea: "Potty World. Kids flush to go down the slide."

"Mom, gotta go pod." AKA potty.

I'm sitting on the floor folding laundry, there's a couple used dryer sheets next to me.

"Uh, mom? Do sometimes clothes shed their old skin?"

L: "Does this pasume you?"

Me: "What does pasume mean?"

L: "It means you like it more better."

Outside at my mom's house, Me: "Where's Andrew?"

L: "He's in the courtyard."

M: "Where's the courtyard?"

L: "It's on the block."

There is no courtyard on the block. Or in the neighborhood.

L: "I'm a little jealous to go on the airplane."

Me: "Jealous? We're taking you with us... Do you mean nervous?

L: "Yes. Nervous."

L: "Dad, did you put gubble gum in you?:

Matt: "I don't know what gubble gum is."

L: "Its gum that tastes so good it wants to eat your heart!"

M: "Oh, then no."

"Graysone. You better make a fart before you start!"

"Mom, when you go to your lady parties, do you have a disco ball and a DJ?"

Bad word replacements: "Heck of a mother, son on a beach!" Whoops.

L: "Mom, we need to go fast!"

Me: "How fast?"

L: "As fast as a camel on Wednesday running to a birthday party at a castle 100 miles away!"

M: ?

"Its raining, its raining! The puddles are drawering, draining." 

Watching Wonder Woman, "Whoa! She's stronger than an elephant on 3 legs!"

***HEART MELTERS***

Told him that all the stuff he has put into his play dough has ruined it, and that it needs to be thrown away. He cupped it in his hands and whispered to it, "I'm sorry I let you down play dough!" And then immediately started bawling.

Lincolnisms XI

"I'm only little four, I'm not big four (4 feet tall on the growth chart) yet!"

"Hey grandma, guess what! You're a doozy!"

While eating his dinner, in shock and amazement, "Dad was right, this stuff is good!" Meatloaf for dinner.

"Mom, you should make a scare crow but a scaredog." (to scare the neighbor dogs off our lawn)

"Yust" = Just

We'd been sick, L "I have two itises." Strep and ear infections.

L: "Mom, do we have the Seattle movie?"

Me: "The Seattle movie... (seriously doubting) ... Sleepless in Seattle?

L: "Yeah! Can we watch it?"

M: "Heck yeah we can!"

Later... starts singing about Prince Ali...

M: "What show is that song from?"

L: "Sleepless in Seattle."

M: (defeated) "No its not. That's Aladdin."

L: "Oh! That's the one I want to watch!"

M: "Ok. But after Sleepless in Seattle."

We watched neither.

"Mom, when I was born you should have named me Lightning."

Hanging out at nephew's baby blessing. Some girls are hangout out under a tree, Lincoln lingers near. Comes over and tells me, "Um! I was just trying to attract some ladies! To get a few more girlfriends!"

L: "Mom, every time I eat strawberries I also eat the seeds."

Me: "Yes."

L: "But, is that allowed?"

M: "Yes, yes it is."

Lots of times when he's frustrated, "Oh NUTCRACKERS!!"

Remembering things he's done, "When I was two..." Always two. A few times its been four. Never three. its like that year never happened.

Got a shovel in his CFA meal one week, got a hand rake the next time we went, "I can't wait to show this guy to my shovel! He has a new dirt friend!"

We watch Flip or Flop together sometimes. He sees the lady, "Is that Flipper?"

Cuts to the guy, "Yes. And thats Flop!"😂

L: "Well, I like Flipper cause..."

M: "Cause she's pretty?"

L: "Yes. And Flop is handsome."

😂😂😂

Mid-prayer whisper, "Mom, did Heavenly Father invent 'grabity'?"

I nod yes.

L: "Can I thank Him for 'grabity'?"

Me: "Please!"

PS 'Grabity', as explained by Lincoln: it grabs us to the Earth so we don't fall off.

"Every show needs an EAGLE!" (as he's soaring around the room)

L: "You know what I always say."

Me: "What?"

L: "A 4 people family is a pack."

M: "What's a 5 people family?"

L: "A pack."

M: "Oh, what about a 6 people family?"

L: "A HERD!"

After leaving the dentist with no cavities!

L: "Mom, I wish they celebrated with me for not having cavities."

Me: "How would you want to celebrate with them?"

L: "Well, with kazoos, and colored paper, and a ribbon cutting!"

M: "Well, ok. I think we can do that."

***HEART MELTERS***

Got into the house after driving home from my mom's, Lincoln took off his shoes and then sat down with G-Money to take off his shoes too.

Mid-prayer, paused the prayer to whisper-ask me, "Uh, mom? If I ask for my dinosaurs to become real dinosaurs will that come true?"

(we had been talking to him about asking for things in prayer, and if Heavenly Father wants us to have them too, he may help us to get them.)

Me: "Probably not buddy, but you can probably play with them tomorrow."

L: "Oh. (back to prayer) And please help me to play with my snakes and dinosaurs tomorrow."

G-Money was throwing a tantrum at the bottom of the stairs. I walked away -- it was not the first tantrum of the day. Lincoln stayed with him and tried to calm him down, helped him take his shoes off, and then helped him up the stairs.

He's started pointing things out to G-Money while we are driving. The other day it was a dog and a canal full of water and ducks.

Lincolnisms X

L "Coming in HOT!"

Me "What does that mean?"

L "It means it's coming in really fast!"

Had just warned him that his dinner would be hot...

L "How hot?"

Me "I'm not sure, check it."

L tests the temp of this mac and cheese, "I can work with this hot!"

His dinosaur attacked me with 'speed amigo attack!'

I wiped a gross booger from his nose and he immediately looked at me with the maddest face,

"MOM! I was saving that booger for lunch!" 

It was hilarious and gross. I was on the floor crying laughing for about 15 minutes.

Driving in the sleet.

L "it's soggy outside,"

Me "Yes it is."

L "I hate that sog!"

Telling him to be quiet now because Grandpa Chuck is going to bed.

L "I know. My daddy told me to follow constructions. To be quiet as the wind. Quiet as the snow. Quiet as a carrot."

Me "No... well yeah. I guess a carrot would be pretty quiet."

'Constructions' = Instructions / Directions

Driving in the car, he told me that he is going to name his sons Daniel, T Rex, and Dino. And his daughter Pterodactyl.

*BONUS*

He's 4 now, some terrible three aspects may be leaving...? (maybe wishful thinking) A few heart melters.

I had told him that it was time to leave from grandma's house. He went and got his shoes and put them on himself - without being asked, or told, or begged, or threatened.

We went to the grocery store, had 2 bags and a large box to bring in. I brought in the bags when I took the boys in, put the bags on the floor inside the door to get the box. Come back with the box to find him carrying the bags up the stairs into the kitchen for me.

I bought him a bag of candy yesterday. When I gave them to him, he opened the bag and dumped them all out, lined them all up, and then prayed over them before he ate any.