Tuesday, March 3, 2020

Lincolnisms XIV

Brought $3 to DI to look at their toys. Found a gun for $1 and some balls for $0.50. After he paid, he whispered to me, "I can't believe that $2 worked!"

We were driving north and couldn't see the mountains for a minute. "Mom,are we out of the jar?"
Me: "The what?"
L: "Our jar. You know, in the mountains."
M: "Our valley?"
L: "Yeah."

There was a fly buzzing around the kitchen. To no one in particular, "SMASH IT WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT!"
And then he FREAKING SMASHED IT AGAINST THE WINDOW WITH HIS HAND! This boy hates bugs. And he smashed it with his hand. I was pretty impressed.

Talking about school: "We didn't have snack today, but we did yesterday. I had an applesauce that tasted like a dirty sock with a rotten egg inside."

Watching a preview for Frozen 2, sees Elsa, "Why didn't they name her Ice-a?"

L: "Mom, what does unconscious mean?"
Me: "Its like asleep, but not on purpose."
L: "What does nauseous mean?"
M: "It means your tummy feels like it wants to throw up."
L: "What does poshious mean?"
M: " I don't know."
L: "It means you like dinosaurs a whole lot."
M: "OH!"
L: "What does moshious mean?"
M: "What does it mean?"
L: "It means you like dogs a whole lot."
M: "Oh!"
L: "I'm poshious and Grayson is moshious."
M: "Got it."
...
L: "Mom, what does cautious mean?"
M: "It means to be careful."

Brings in a random long/skinny piece of paper, "Whoa! That must have been one HUGE sentence cookie!"
Me: "What?... A fortune cookie?"
L: "Yeah!"

"Mom, what do you call a one-legged hippo? A HOPPO!"
(i found out much later that he did not make up this joke. but when he told me, i was so impressed)

My mom, talking to my dad about their OLD neighbor, "He's not doing good. He's slowing down."
L: "Grandma, has he been emotionally eating?"
My mom: "WHAT?!" 😂
(i think he learned this term from the new grinch movie. a hilarious encounter, nonetheless.)

"Aloha Las Vegas! says the Sasquatch."

"What do you call a milk mustache? A MOOstache!"

refuel = refill

Brooks's nicknames: King Brooksington, Brookie

Grandpa Marty was wearing plaid pajama pants, "Grandpa! I see your tic tac toe pants!"

There were football announcers on the tv; "Mom, look! There's Bishop Rick!"
M: "Who's Bishop Rick?"
L: "Bishop Rick! Grandpa's boss!"
M: "Ohhhhh, Bishopric."
(grandpa marty works with the bishopric in his ward.)

Matt said something about Lincoln not being able to work on a roof if he's afraid of heights.
L: "But remember dad, I'm not going to be a roofer, I'm going to be a scientist."
Me: "How are you going to pay for college if you don't go roof?"
L: "Won't you guys pay for college for me?"
Me and Matt, 😂😂😂😂😂

Playing cars with Grayson, driving away from his brother, "We're going to NONEYA!"
(i guess he's heard me say this a few times)

Talking about his new tooth pushing his baby tooth out of the way, "And he'll tell the little tooth to go have a hike!"

L: "Who farted!?"
Me: "Probably you!"
L: "Not me, I didn't burst out one of those big boys!"

Watching Dolphin Tale 2, with Bethany Hamilton, surfer girl.
L: "How does she write?!"
Me: "Do you use 2 hands to write?"
L: "Yes! One to hold my pencil and one to push the paper down!"
(valid)

***HEART MELTERS***

Talking about how the heart's job is to pump blood to all of your body parts, etc.
L: "The heart has a lot of jobs!"
Me: "It does? What are it's other jobs?"
L: "Well, I know that it's job is to love."
M: "Oh, yep. Yes it is."

Driving home with our Little Caesars pizza, I had to stop fast and it flew off the seat, and spilled on the floor of my car. We get home, I realize how bad it is. We get back into the car to go get a new one. I apologized to the kids for ruining our dinner.
L: "It's ok mom. Accidents happen all the time."
(then i cried, and bought a new pizza)


Brooks was in his bouncer crying, had been crying all day-- I couldn't fix it. I was at the stove cooking dinner, trying not to freak out. Lincoln came in the room, saw that I was about to lose it, gently bounced the baby until he calmed down.

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